Lordy Lordy Look Who Is 40

Yes I am posting again. What's 6 months or so? I am convinced it is just a number. I don't feel 40 nor do I think I look 40. Granted I don't look 30 but not 40. LOL! I had an amazing weekend with my friends and family. I am so blessed I can't even put it into words. I know it is easy to get bogged down and depressed with day to day issues but when it comes down to it I am the luckiest girl in the world. Here is to the next 40!
Take care,
Raye

Doug & I

My amazing friends and family

Whose Child Is This?

"Whose children are these" I asked one day,

Seeing a little one out at play.
"Mine", said the parent with a tender smile,
"Mine to keep a little while,
To bathe thier hainds and comb their hair,
To tell them what they are to wear,
To prepare them that they may always be good,
And each day do the things they should."

"Whose children are these" I asked again,
As the door opened and someone came in.
"Mine", said the teacher with same tender smile,
"Mine to keep just for a little while,
To teach them to be gentle and kind,
To train and direct their dear little minds,
To help them live by every rule,
And get the best they can from school."

"Whose children are these" I asked once more,
Just as a little one entered a door
"Ours", said the parent and the teacher as they smiled,
And each took a hand of the little child.
"Ours to love and train together,
Ours this special task forever."

William's Turn

Well the #1 son now is sans tonsils like little brother. I am praying this will help with the strep issue. Treating strep on average 6 times a year is not fun. I really don't like giving the boys antibiotics and having to give William some that often was not ideal. If you ever have a child in the hospital for any length of time you will see what effect antibacterial products and over use of antibiotics are having on us. Kind of scary. But I digress. William was originally okay with the idea but as surgery date loomed closer he got nervous. He even picked out a new pair of pjs and ice cream just for this occasion. What a nut. He did really good during surgery and was better than I thought coming out from anesthesia. He had a little rough time when we first got home but I think that had more to do with the anesthesia. I swear under tears I heard him say "why did this have to happen to me today?". Could that have pierced my heart anymore? Man. But I know this is going to be great going forward. After getting mine out at 17, yes I said 17, I have not had issues with the throat. Knock on wood. He is doing much better today. We are getting him to eat food which I hope will give him more energy and he hasn't had his prescription pain meds since last night. So far only Tylenol is keeping pain at bay. I think the funniest thing is this ice cream he really wanted he really hasn't eaten. He had one serving and that's it. What a nut!
Take care,
Raye

PS. William on the giggle juice is possibly the funniest thing I have seen. I really hope that is not an indicator of how he will act intoxicated. LOL!!

After giggle juice and getting Zelda 3D for the 3DS.
He could hardly hold it not long after this picture.

Trying to wake up. Poor Baby.

Rolling in the really big wheelchair

Yeah for Dad's truck and it's bench seat.

Feeling much better after a good nap!

Cherish

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
'Tomorrow' I say! 'I will call on Jim.
Just to show that I'm thinking of him.'
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
'Here's a telegram sir,' ' Jim died today.'
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

March for Babies 2011

Boy. Our March for Babies team has certainly grown this year. From the humble beginnings of Ginny starting this team in April '05 in honor of Parker & Tanner to today with 22 people walking. Now we aren't the largest family team but we are there that is for sure. We even got new shirts this year. Yeah us! While this is a stressful time it is also a fun time. Poor Tilsons and crew kind of get outnumbered by the Batchelor Crew but that is okay. The more the merrier right! Our team raised over $2,000 for our team. I can't wait until some of the kids get older and we can get them raising money too. It was a great day even thought it was a little chilly that morning but that made it really nice on the walk. We got real lucky with the weather. All in all it was a great day!
Take care!
Raye

This years walkers

Our new shirts

The Harrison Crew

Ryan's Spot in the Garden of Hope

Jake's spot in the Garden of Hope

Crazy Jake is 5

A little late but better than never! Wow. "Baby" Jake is 5. Where has the time gone? Where has the year gone? He is about to start kindergarten and is playing flag football. He is such a little interesting kid to say the least. He can be the sweetest thing in the world and then turn around and be the devil. But that is what makes him Jake. We wouldn't have him any other way. Happy Birthday my crazy little guy! Love you bunches!
Take care,
Raye

Blowing out candles

First practice

My Valentine

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you

If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams i couldnt love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

La da da
Da da da da

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Cuz all i need
Is you, my valentine

You're all i need
My love, my valentine

Lordy Lordy My Honey Is 40

My honey turned 40 this weekend. And what a handsome 40 year old I have. We had a fun time Saturday night. I was going to have his party at TMS but boy they wanted an arm & a leg. My wedding reception was not much more expensive. Yikes!! So we went to MainEvent and had food, bowling, tasty beverages and pool. And I beat Marc at Air Hockey yet again!! Go me! On Sunday Doug and I went so he could spend some of his gift cards. He was like a kid that had money burning in his pocket. He really can't wait to go to Starbucks and get a Trenta size. The best thing is Doug had a smile on his face. That was the most important thing for me. He does so much for so many people I wanted him to feel special. I lovers him.

Happy Monday!!
Raye

Me & Doug

Me & Teri

The Tilsons

The Lambs

Let's Bowl!!

Almost A Decade

9 years. Doesn't seem that long ago. But to see the changes in my little guy has been amazing. He was such a cute little guy when he was born. When I found out we were having a boy we pretty much knew his name immediately. And as many of my friends can tell you I laid down the law on what nicknames he could and could not have. LOL!!! Even talking about wheeling down the hall from recovery to my post partum room. What an adventure I have been on these last nine years. And what an absolutely amazing, yes I am using the word again, child to start my journey with as a mother. He is just a blessing no matter how I look at it.

Hugs to my big guy~
Raye

At the Stock Show on his birthday

Happy 6th Birthday

Ahhh. The 24th has arrived. I must say I am actually happy today. I am not jumping around but I am happy. Even though I tear up as I sit here and type this post. I have started to be able to celebrate this day for what it is. Ryan's Birthday. Not the day he died. That is a huge difference to me. Hopefully that is a big difference to most people. Am I sad of course. I wish he was here to celebrate with but I will still celebrate. We will head off to our family dinner and be happy! Tonight when we get home I will look into the stars and smile. I smile with the firm belief he is smiling back at us. He will blow his candles out on his cake to give me those stars. What a great present to us.

Lots of love,
Raye

When I Said I Do

These times are troubled and these times are good
And they're always gonna be, they rise and they fall
We take 'em all the way that we should
Together you and me forsaking them all
Deep in the night and by the light of day
It always looks the same, true love always does
And here by your side, or a million miles away
Nothin's ever gonna change the way that I feel,
The way it is, is the way that it was

When I said I do, I meant that I will 'til the end of all time
Be faithful and true, devoted to you
That's what I had in mind when I said I do

Well this old world keeps changin', and the world stays the same
For all who came before, and it goes hand and hand
Only you and I can undo all that we became
That makes us so much more, than a woman and a man
And after everything that comes and goes around
Has only passed us by, here alone in our dreams
I know there's a lonely heart in every lost and found
But forever you and I will be the ones
Who found out what forever means

When I said I do, I meant that I will 'til the end of all time
Be faithful and true, devoted to you
That's what I had in mind when I said I do

Truer than true, you know that I'll always be there for you
That's what I had in mind, that's what I had in mind,
When I said I do

10 Years Down

Sweet Little Jakey

I go from not blogging for two months to three in two days. Man. Anyway meant to share this sweet story about my little Jake. I know I wrote about the feelings I was having concerning Ryan and what not but I had not shared them with the boys or even Doug for that matter. But last night I was making dinner and Jake came up to me with his Dd (blanket) all rolled up. He told me it was Baby Ryan like he was Jakey Ryan. He then proceeded to tell me that Ryan died and I said yes he did. He then said you miss him Mommy don't you and I said yes I did. He then said he was going to put him in my bed so I could sleep with him and Daddy too. All night he took that blanket around like a baby. He sat on the couch and held it and when he went to bed he blamed not going to sleep on Baby Ryan crying. That little nut. He can be so sweet and such a little punk. But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Take care,
Raye

The Brave Little Soul

Found this on the Caring Bridge site for our former insurance salesman's son. He passed away February after a 3 year long battle with cancer. I still struggle to this day with why the Lord would allow an innocent soul to suffer. One day I will be at peace with that concept.
((hugs))

The Brave Little Soul By: John Alessi
Not too long ago in Heaven there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. He especially enjoyed the love he saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day however the little soul was sad, for on this day he saw suffering in the world. He approached God and sadly asked, "Why do bad things happen; why is there suffering in the world?" God paused for a moment and replied, "Little soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see, unlocks the love in people's hearts." The little soul was confused. "What do you mean," he asked. God replied, "Have you not noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering? Look at how people come together, drop their differences and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone." The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued, "The suffering soul unlocks the love in people's hearts much like the sun and the rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their heart, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone. They are afraid to let their love shine freely, because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love. I tell you this - it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world and suffer - to unlock this love - to create this miracle for the good of all humanity."
Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could hardly contain himself. With his wings fluttering, bouncing up and down, the little soul excitedly replied. "I am brave; let me go! I would like to go into the world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people's hearts! I want to create that miracle!" God smiled and said, "You are a brave soul I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave you will not be able to do this alone. I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey. Those souls will help you create your miracle; however they will also share in your suffering. Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond the others. They have already chosen a name for you". God and the brave soul shared a smile, and then embraced.
In parting, God said, "Do not forget little soul that I will be with you always. Although you have agreed to bear the pain, you will do so through my strength. And if the time should come when you feel that you have suffered enough, just say the word, think the thought, and you will be healed." Thus at that moment the brave little soul was born into the world, and through his suffering and God's strength, he unlocked the goodness and love in people's hearts. For so many people dropped their differences and came together to show their love. Priorities became properly aligned. People gave from their hearts. Those that were always too busy found time. Many began new spiritual journeys, some regained lost faith - many came back to God. Parents hugged their children tighter. Friends and family grew closer. Old friends got together and new friendships were made. Distant family reunited, and every family spent more time together. Everyone prayed. Peace and love reigned. Lives changed forever. It was good. The world was a better place. The miracle had happened. God was pleased.

First Day of School

Can't believe school is back in the swing. Thank goodness. And I can't believe it has been over two months since my last post. My bad. It is great to be back in the school schedule. William really likes his class and has been so excited every day to tell me about what he did that day. Jake is just Jake. Shayla has started up the curriculum and this year he starts to learn to read with her. His writing is really doing great. Hopefully this will be a great year for the Harrison boys. For some reason Monday morning on the way to work something just came over me. I started to think about Ryan, like usual, but I started doing the what if game. What if he was still here he would be starting kindergarten. What if he was still here what kind of kindergarten would he have attended. With all his disabilities we always thought the brain was not effected so despite the physical disabilities he might have been able to be in a regular kindergarten. Who knows. I also started thinking about Tanner. How might heart hurt thinking of how sweet it would have been for him to start school with his brother. Watch out. Two Tilson boys. But alas there are other plans for the boys. One day we will know. But until then we revel in what we have and love every minute of it.
Take care!
Raye

Jake walking with big brother on the first day

Fish Tales, Fish Tales, Fish Tales

I have never been so proud of my little William. Well he is not so little anymore. Last week he went to KidSong music camp at Heritage Church of Christ. The idea of the camp was to learn a musical and present it to the parents or anyone that wanted to attend. The week wasn't all about Fish Tales. In the afternoon they did crafts, had visitors and played. One of my BFF's helped put this together. Her son, another BFF's daughter and William got to do camp together. They were even in the same troop. I was so blown away by these kids. They had to be starting 2nd grade to participate. Well one certain little Gracie got snuck in to the fray. Their performances we just amazing. They learned choreography and everything. William got to do a dance during the performance. Of course Gracie was her usual crazy self and Blayne just rolled with the punches. I was really excited he came out of his comfort zone for this. The boys really like the youth program at Heritage and they do a great job of teaching the gospel to the kids in a way they can understand. I struggle with that and the boys. I know that is crazy but I really don't have the words to put something that big into a language they understand. But that probably a good indicator of why I never wanted to be a teacher. All in all it was a wonderful experience not only for William but for the whole family too.
Lots of love!
Raye

Poor Little Jakey

My poor little Jakey. We had quite the roller coaster this weekend. Last week he did have a little cold. No snot or anything like that but a little cough. William had one as well. Well Thursday night he went downhill fast. Literally within about 30 mins he went from a little cough to wheezing and not feeling good. We got home from WalMart where we went to get more Cold & Cough medicine we started the breathing treatments. By the next morning he really hadn't had good improvement so off we went to the Dr. After oral steroids and two breathing treatments off we went to Cooks via ambulance. He had a high respiration rate and heart rate so the Dr. Hampton thought it would be prudent to transport instead of us driving. She also suspected pneumonia. Jake loved going on the ambulance. He thought it was an adventure. He even kind of did a nah nah nah nah to his brother when he told William about his trip. After two more breathing treatments and a chest xray the ER doc concluded it was probably just his asthma process. She couldn't rule out walking pneumonia since she still heard some noise in his left lung so she prescribed antibiotics. The good news is he is doing so much better now. If I could just keep my crazy 4 year old from running around that would be great. But you all know how that works.
Take care,
Rachel

Off we go on our adventure

Finally crashed. Couldn't even hold his DS.

Lake Travis Adventure Pt1

What a great start to the weekend. On our way down to Lake Travis we stopped at Whitney to see Doug's parents. We had a nice lunch and it was good to see them. We hadn't seen them since Christmas. Downtown Whitney had great character. Found a great wall to take the boys picture. William posed like a little model. Cracked me up. Once we finally got through Round Rock traffic we arrived at the rent house. Rustic is the first thing that came to mind. Not exactly what I was expecting. It is clean and has all the amenities but kind of jungle. This area reminds me a lot of LA up in the hills. Nice houses squeezed onto a small lot on winding roads with smaller more rustic homes in between. But the boys like it so that is the important thing. They slept well last night but I can't say the same for Doug. He should be fine the rest of the time. Doug & i sat on one of the decks last night. We read, watched the lights on the lake and had tasty beverages. It was great. Will continue with Pt 2 tomorrow. The only thing we have planned today is a trip to the park and Iguana Grill.
Take care!
Raye

Mother's Day 2010

What a great day. Actually a great weekend. Saturday was a little stressful but fun. Got to eat at Central Market with my boys and then off to Jake's Loft. Love me some Jake's Loft. Got to see Courtney and Lil Teri and their crew at Jake's. I so wish William's soccer game hadn't got moved. We would have had a blast at CM drinking some wine. After William's game we headed on over to Mary's for a cookout with my Mom and Oma. Boy was Mom surprised when Mike opened the door. He came in from Cali to surprise her. Sunday was all mine. I got to sleep in until 8. Woot! Yes 8 is sleeping in for the Harrison's. I have no idea why my boys can't sleep in. Even if they go to bed really late their happy butts are still up by 8 at the latest. I am sure they will grow out of that at some point. Hopefully. My amazing boys got me an iPad for a gift. It was completely unexpected. I was thinking a spa day was in my future. It has been so much fun playing with it. It is like crack. Rachel please step away from the pipe. It was off to Don Taco for lunch where we completely pigged out and off to soccer, again. The season that never ends. The best part was that I got to spend time with my boys doing what I wanted, well almost. The greatest gift Doug ever gave me was those three amazing boys. I stand amazed when I look into William and Jake's face and remember Ryan. I did that. Well with some help. I have wanted since I was a little girl to be a Mommy. Not just to have a living doll but someone that was a part of me. I couldn't wait to teach them their ABC's or colors or about the stars. It is just wonderful. And that poem is so true. To be a Mom is to accept that your heart will walk around outside of your body for the rest of your life. I just pray they will always have room in theirs for me.
Much Love to all the Moms!
Raye

Crazy boys

Kisses for Mom

March for Babies - Honoring My Preemies!

Click here to help me reach my goal!

Members In A Club We Never Wanted To Join

Today was Jake's birthday party but it was also an anniversary for a fellow Angel Mommy. Today was Carleigh's 1st Angelversary. Carliegh was born sleeping one year ago today. My heart goes out to Holly especially since we are coming up on our 5th on Friday. I am blessed I know these women but I hate that I met these woman being a member of this club. Never in a million years did I think I would be in this club. It stinks and sometimes I just want to scream. But then I stop take a deep breath and realize how blessed I truly am in this world. Unlike Holly who had to say goodbye while she was saying hello I got these amazing 9 weeks and 6 days with Ryan. That is a blessing that I will always remember. Here is to Holly and all the Angel Parents out there. We are members of this club we never wanted to join but we have each other. Either online or down the street we are always here for each other.
((hugs)),
Raye

Getting ready to release

Off it goes