Sweet Little Jakey

I go from not blogging for two months to three in two days. Man. Anyway meant to share this sweet story about my little Jake. I know I wrote about the feelings I was having concerning Ryan and what not but I had not shared them with the boys or even Doug for that matter. But last night I was making dinner and Jake came up to me with his Dd (blanket) all rolled up. He told me it was Baby Ryan like he was Jakey Ryan. He then proceeded to tell me that Ryan died and I said yes he did. He then said you miss him Mommy don't you and I said yes I did. He then said he was going to put him in my bed so I could sleep with him and Daddy too. All night he took that blanket around like a baby. He sat on the couch and held it and when he went to bed he blamed not going to sleep on Baby Ryan crying. That little nut. He can be so sweet and such a little punk. But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Take care,
Raye

The Brave Little Soul

Found this on the Caring Bridge site for our former insurance salesman's son. He passed away February after a 3 year long battle with cancer. I still struggle to this day with why the Lord would allow an innocent soul to suffer. One day I will be at peace with that concept.
((hugs))

The Brave Little Soul By: John Alessi
Not too long ago in Heaven there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. He especially enjoyed the love he saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day however the little soul was sad, for on this day he saw suffering in the world. He approached God and sadly asked, "Why do bad things happen; why is there suffering in the world?" God paused for a moment and replied, "Little soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see, unlocks the love in people's hearts." The little soul was confused. "What do you mean," he asked. God replied, "Have you not noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering? Look at how people come together, drop their differences and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone." The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued, "The suffering soul unlocks the love in people's hearts much like the sun and the rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their heart, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone. They are afraid to let their love shine freely, because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love. I tell you this - it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world and suffer - to unlock this love - to create this miracle for the good of all humanity."
Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could hardly contain himself. With his wings fluttering, bouncing up and down, the little soul excitedly replied. "I am brave; let me go! I would like to go into the world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people's hearts! I want to create that miracle!" God smiled and said, "You are a brave soul I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave you will not be able to do this alone. I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey. Those souls will help you create your miracle; however they will also share in your suffering. Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond the others. They have already chosen a name for you". God and the brave soul shared a smile, and then embraced.
In parting, God said, "Do not forget little soul that I will be with you always. Although you have agreed to bear the pain, you will do so through my strength. And if the time should come when you feel that you have suffered enough, just say the word, think the thought, and you will be healed." Thus at that moment the brave little soul was born into the world, and through his suffering and God's strength, he unlocked the goodness and love in people's hearts. For so many people dropped their differences and came together to show their love. Priorities became properly aligned. People gave from their hearts. Those that were always too busy found time. Many began new spiritual journeys, some regained lost faith - many came back to God. Parents hugged their children tighter. Friends and family grew closer. Old friends got together and new friendships were made. Distant family reunited, and every family spent more time together. Everyone prayed. Peace and love reigned. Lives changed forever. It was good. The world was a better place. The miracle had happened. God was pleased.

First Day of School

Can't believe school is back in the swing. Thank goodness. And I can't believe it has been over two months since my last post. My bad. It is great to be back in the school schedule. William really likes his class and has been so excited every day to tell me about what he did that day. Jake is just Jake. Shayla has started up the curriculum and this year he starts to learn to read with her. His writing is really doing great. Hopefully this will be a great year for the Harrison boys. For some reason Monday morning on the way to work something just came over me. I started to think about Ryan, like usual, but I started doing the what if game. What if he was still here he would be starting kindergarten. What if he was still here what kind of kindergarten would he have attended. With all his disabilities we always thought the brain was not effected so despite the physical disabilities he might have been able to be in a regular kindergarten. Who knows. I also started thinking about Tanner. How might heart hurt thinking of how sweet it would have been for him to start school with his brother. Watch out. Two Tilson boys. But alas there are other plans for the boys. One day we will know. But until then we revel in what we have and love every minute of it.
Take care!
Raye

Jake walking with big brother on the first day